Many already depressing mornings and afternoons at a local therapist’s office became even more bleak with the presence of a decorational plant that wasn’t even goddamn real.

Within the walls of the home and part-time therapy office of Lincoln therapist Mackenzie Shirlton sat a hypocritical sunny-yellow pot where a fake plastic rendition of a lavender plant. This sad little imposter, as it masked its falsehood with realistic-looking leaves and flowers that were only visually appealing and could never hide its true artificiality, made things much gloomier for Shirlton’s patients and their sessions with her.

“I’m trying to get help here to embrace my anxiety issues and all that. Then I look at this sick little hoax, with it all genuine-looking but not even half real, and I just can’t help but feel like I’m being duped by this bleak world,” said patient Brad Gumphry. “Goddammit. Stop mocking me, you phony half-priced Walmart junk. I have to come to terms with reality but you don’t?! Stop it, I need help!”

The disturbing deceit from the dishonest doppelganger has, apparently, impeded the mental recovery of multiple patients under Shirlton’s care for some time.

“Maybe it’s that living plants breath life or something, but I used to feel vigorous and even a bit hopeful when Dr. Shirlton used to have an actual fern in her house,” said patient Keith O’ Reilly. “But that…thing is dead. So I feel dead now. God, I miss Haley…”
The unnatural lavender plant decoration finally met its deserved fate as a depression patient finally grasped the pot, smashed it on the ground and proceeded to tear the phony plant to pieces, although this took some time due to the durability of the plastic and fabric of said phony.