Fred Williams, a senior broadcasting major at UNL, has an incredibly moderate talent. Ever since the ninth grade, Fred’s voice has been recognized among his peers as “really good” or, every once in a while, “booming.” This unwieldy amassment of praise has led Fred to pursue a career in broadcasting and radio.
“I’ve been going to all the classes, and sometimes I sub in to do the commentating for women’s basketball, intramural,” Williams shrugged. One of Williams’close friends even videotaped him reciting a public service announcement from the local community radio station and published it on YouTube. “It’s gotten at least, like, 67 views in the past eight months or so,” his friend explained.
Despite prospective employers’ general lack of interest and a diminishing sense of self worth, Fred Willliams still feels he can escape mediocrity and rise to the top. He’s landed a gig this season to shovel sidewalks for three or four of his neighbors at five dollars a piece. He’s also been practicing his commentary at his buddys’ Smash Bros matches, although his friends haven’t yet grown to appreciate the creative process.
If all goes as planned, Fred will only live with his parents for the first couple years or so after graduating. “I’ve been following other broadcast successes very closely lately. If things don’t pan out for me, I can always fall back on drugs, alcohol and blackface. Plus, I happen to know where all the best bridges and downtown crannies are located.”
