According to sources, the 49-year-old sociology professor and Ph.D. Frank Barnes reminded his students not to have their existential crises during class time.

“Now, I know this is a bit tough for you all to hear, but I need for our classroom sessions to be free of questioning the broader implications of today’s current events on your life, doubting the value of your lifelong work and pondering the fate of the universe in general,” Barnes told the class this week.

“Unfortunately, this class’ curriculum is free of delirious searches for the meaning of life or considering the practicality of nihilism in today’s world,” Barnes added. “These sorts of existential quandaries will need to happen outside of class time.”

According to the class’ graduate teaching assistant, 28-year-old Ph.D. student Anna Howard, the students’ pervasive class time existential crises have become a major obstacle to Barnes’ teaching.

“If Dr. Barnes has to interrupt class one more time to investigate a student who slowly rose from their desk and aimlessly ambled out of the classroom staring blankly ahead, we are going to be in serious danger of not getting through all of the course’s material,” Howard explained.

“We just can’t keep diverting class time away from our subject matter to address students’ off topic questions regarding the meaning of life,” Howard added.

Although Barnes has clearly asked his students to keep their existential crises outside of his classroom, he has opened another avenue for them to share with him their metaphysical ponderings on the human condition.

“If a student ever needs to discuss the direction of their life or ponder their overwhelming feelings of existential doom, my office hours are listed in the course syllabus,” Barnes said. “My door is always open.”