The King of Saudi Arabia, Abdullah bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud, announced he would be allowing women in his kingdom the right to vote against the furthering of women’s rights.

Under the new law, women will be allowed to vote for continuing the ban on women drivers and furthering the dress code policy that allows only the eyes and hands of a woman to be seen.
The King stated that, starting in the 2015 election cycle, women will be given ballots that have already been filled out and allowed to exercise their right to ensure women aren’t granted “too much freedom.”

“I’ve always thought that we were too harsh in our laws. We know that women want to be a part of the process of keeping rights from women,” said the King. “And because they’ve never voted before, to ensure they vote for the items we know they want to vote for, we’ll fill out their ballots for them in advance.”

The move has been praised by many western countries as a step in the right direction. American President Barack Obama stated the law was “the kind of thing you’d expect from a progressive Arab leader” and the Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi praised the king for “not going overboard” and giving Saudi Arabian women the right to drive, because “women are horrible drivers.”

The most progressive of the King’s daughters, Princess Adila, praised her father’s efforts and called this “the type of progressive move we’ve come to expect from his royal highness.” She then stated her hope that the ban against female driving would soon end, at which point she was forcibly removed from the microphone. The Princess has not been seen since.