So “Seven Psychopaths” is long. I know it’s under two hours, but the story is too long.

There’s an hour of solid film in this beast, but director Martin McDonagh made the choice to have seven psychopaths wrapped up in it. Not one, two, or three, but seven freaking psychopaths. McDonagh then decides to waste even more of our time by making sure all seven of them get an individualized ending. The last 30 minutes of the film is a damn denouement for the bastards.

Colin Farrell is the supposed main character, but the story isn’t about him. I’m not making sense, I know. The story is also originally about dog thieving, where we get a solid 15 minutes of these guys stealing puppies… only to drop this plot thread entirely.

The plot begins with Sam Rockwell kidnapping Woody Harrelson’s Shih Tzu. Harrelson, being the baller that he is, runs Rockwell and company out of town (note that I’m not saying “Farrell and company out of town”). Rockwell and friends then decide to write a story about their experiences, except they don’t know how to end it. Rockwell, being a psychopath (spoilers), wants to end the story with a big standoff. So he tells Harrelson where he’s at and gets exactly that.

This whole time, Farrell… well, he’s essentially just hanging around. His character’s motivations seem to be being a drunk and not taking control of his fate. Woo.

I know I’m ragging on this movie, and this may be cliché, because this movie could’ve been great. The film is hilarious — killing couldn’t be funnier. Rockwell and Christopher Walken are great, and I guess Farrell does a good job of being a bitchy drunk. I don’t know if that’s a compliment yet.

But overall, “Seven Psychopaths” is too long and too concerned with stuff that doesn’t matter in the slightest. So maybe a little psychopathic after all.