The UNL Delta Eta chapter of Sigma Nu unveiled new living accommodations this week for members displaced after campus officials vacated the house and imposed sanctions on the fraternity.  Unsurprisingly, many members were pleased with the improvements in living conditions.

“Yeah, things were a little grodey in there. The smell of Axe body spray, cleaning chemicals, and garbage is much more diluted in our new environment.  Plus we can eat whenever we want!” said freshman member Josh Johnson, who Dailyer staff found munching on day-old Raising Canes behind a dumpster downtown.  Older members lamented the loss of test files, which were reportedly burnt in an oil drum to provide warmth during typical below-zero January wind chills.

Several members were reportedly suffering from frostbite, as their wardrobes consist of only bro tanks, Sperrys, long socks, and shorts.  Johnson added, “I had to take my own roofies last night to fall asleep in the cold.  Lame, dude!”

These changes have forced the frat to alter initiation procedures, including training new members in panhandling for ‘alcohol research.’  New team-building activities included huddling together for warmth on cold nights.

However, Sigma Nu leadership was quick to assure the Dailyer that none of the frat’s new activities are more homoerotic than time-honored traditions such as ‘riding the bike’ and ‘living in a house with 50 other males for 4 years’.

Other Greek organizations will be hosting philanthropies this semester to benefit the trash people of Sigma Nu and help improve living conditions.  Encouraged donations include condoms (new or used), Rohypnol, and deodorizer.