Recently retired chancellor Harvey Perlman, from the comfort of his well-heated home, announced today that there will be two weeks of snow days for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and that all classes will be canceled.

Perlman was known for calling snow days very conservatively, much to the disdain of students across campus. A retired chancellor does not have the authority to call for a snow day, but that did not stop the rat bastard from rubbing the cold, deathly winds of winter in students’ faces.

Much to the chagrin of the campus community, Perlman announced his faux snows days over Twitter—a platform he thinks he’s good at—to share with followers his great news.

“Since all you students have been good, I’m declaring two weeks of snow days. Don’t have too much fun,” Perlman tweeted with several snowflake emojis.

While Perlman got a kick out of his prank, many in the student body were confused by the tweet, wondering whether the snow days were actually true or if a cantankerous old man with a bad Twitter presence was making a joke.

“I know Harvey isn’t our chancellor anymore, but I wonder if snow days are powers grandfathered into the responsibilities of retired chancellors,” junior Derek Oterman said, referencing a law that is clearly made up.

“I’ve been buried under ice for several months,” said freshman Tre Bryant while trapped in an ice locker. “A snow day would only validate the reality I have been living.”

As the conceited Perlman has confused the student body, others are wondering whether there is a balance of power between the awful, smelly Perlman and the sweet and handsome new chancellor Ronnie Green.

Green put any rumors about Perlman’s powers to rest.

“I am the only person who can call snow days; Perlman was just playing a cruel joke,” Green said. “You all should know everything he says is a joke after his 30,000 students by 2017 initiative.”