Former University of Nebraska-Lincoln student and sophomore supply chain management and analytics major Ashlee Chappel was immediately transformed into a high-powered Chief Executive Officer of a major Fortune 500 company following the creation of her LinkedIn profile, sources reported Tuesday.
DailyER reporters were notified of Chappel’s transformation via an immediate upsurge in the stock price of the Northrop Grumman Corporation, which was previously trading at $264.08 on the New York Stock Exchange. Chappel’s hire promptly boosted the enterprise’s stock price to $498.46 per share.
“I believe [Chappel] is the perfect fit for the job and am eager to see which direction she steers the company in the coming years,” explained former CEO Wes Bush, who immediately stepped down and offered the job to Chappel after viewing the extensive list of Skills and Endorsements found on her LinkedIn profile.
“The skills, coursework and certifications on Chappel’s LinkedIn profile are second-to-none,” explained Bush “Her list of rigorous high school coursework and exclusive part-time summer jobs is incredible. She truly is Northrop Grumman material.”
Though attempts to contact Chappel for an interview about the job offer were unsuccessful, the second year student’s roommate was pleased by the company’s hiring decision.
“I’m super excited for Ashlee and wish her well at her new job,” explained Chappel’s best friend and current roommate, Cassie Bowden. “I bet she’ll have a great time selling military-grade airplanes and whatnot.”
“Plus, when she moves out, I even get this whole place to myself,” added Bowden.
Chappel, who, according to sources, is still negotiating a salary and benefits package with Northrop Grumman, will be moving into the position as soon as possible.
“Despite her lack of experience in the defense sector, Chappel’s LinkedIn profile shows outstanding potential and gives me great confidence that her work will transform the industry,” explained Bush. “I’m positive she will lead the company to great strides in the aerospace industry.”
At press time, reports indicated that an additional upswing in the company’s stock price could likely be attributed to the addition of “Certified Lifeguard” to Chappel’s LinkedIn qualifications.
