Well, it’s that time of the year again: football season! And you know what that means? That’s right, public marketing and advertising! UNL has declared the motto of “In our grit, our glory” to be their go-to when describing their team and fan-base this year, but it seems that perhaps not everyone has gotten it down quite yet. Freshman Samuel Jeffers was reported to have brought an entire goddamn gallon of grits to the first game of the season, and when asked why he did so, he stated:

“Well, I just wanted to fit in, and I know the games are super important to like, everyone here. I dunno, looking back on it, I don’t regret a thing. It made for a good story at least, and I didn’t have to buy any of that overpriced unhealthy shit to eat either!”

We also got a response from former Stadium Tampering and Obstruction Patrol officer George Martinez about what he thought of the whole situation.

“Oh yeah, I totally remember that guy entering the stadium! The security asked me what to do about the bag, and while it was definitely against our food policy, I couldn’t just leave the guy hanging at the entrance with a giant saggy bag of grits! So I let him in! Lost my job for it, but between you ‘n me…totally worth it.”

Samuel was eventually escorted out after a fight between teams broke out, to which he proceeded to chuck the bag at the rival fans, sloshing the substances everywhere while shouting “Taste the glory in our grits!” However, one thing does stand clear: Samuel Jeffers will go down in Husker History™ as someone who, under that massive sack of grits, brings glory to the Husker family name.