When senior journalism major Alaina DeMarcio says she is “fine,” she means it. And that is why she is freaking the hell out.

The senior said she is constantly in panic mode because things have never been this okay and shouldn’t be now.

“There should be something wrong,” she said. “Where is the dumpster fire I am obviously missing?”

Her professors agree, DeMarcio is okay.

“She got an 85 on the last exam, speaks up in class and has never missed an extra credit opportunity,” her Physics professor Erwin Vilder said. “I’d say she’s doing just fine.”

But DeMarcio can’t take it.

“I’m a SENIOR,” she yelled. “Things are not OKAY. Things have never been OKAY. This cannot be happening to me!”

Her friends are just as frustrated with the situation.

“I thought we were all dying,” DeMarcio’s friend and math major Justin Rogerson said. “So, yeah, I’m a little pissed that Alaina gets to walk around without wondering if she’s going to sleep or study all night.”

Her roommate, bio-chem major Brittany Sheldon is just as annoyed.

“We used to cry ourselves to sleep together,” Sheldon said. “Do you know how awkward it is to be the only one crying in bed while your roommate laughs at The Office? I can tell you it’s downright shitty.

DeMarcio said she doesn’t know how to help this since she kind of likes being okay.

“It’s new and strange not being on the brink of crying all the time,” she said. “But it feels kind of good and I know it won’t last long. So I want to enjoy this weird stage of the semester as long as humanly possible.”