Every person on the planet cherishes a number of special memories and keeps them close to their heart. However, after countless research, studies say that another human being, somewhere on the planet, likely died during your happiest moment.
“Our numbers have shown us that, while you were experiencing the wildest ride of your life or meeting your true love, someone in the world simultaneously ceased to live for some reason or another,” explained scientist Peter Dinklie.
So in retrospect, according to Dinklie and his contemporaries, someone, with thoughts and wishes and fears just like you, probably ‘bit the dust,’ possibly in some gruesome or sorrowful manner, while you were feeling all happy and bursting with opportunity and life and stuff like that.
“While we cannot confirm this, the stats so far have revealed that, as you finally attained your dream job or overcame that painful addiction, another person with as much stake in life as you passed on and 100-percent of the time made at least one other person else feel affected, let alone sad, about the death. Really, there’s a good chance someone was shedding tears of grief at their friend’s fatal heart attack or suicide while you were shedding tears of joy.”
With everything that he and his colleagues have found, Dinklie told reporters that the most disturbing part about his discoveries is that you have gone on with blissful ignorance of what has been happening during your most precious moments in life.
“God, you’re sick. While you were living life to the fullest and maintaining optimal health and safety, someone died. In actuality, more than one person probably died. Multiple graves were built, yet you still think of that romantic trip to the mountains or that internship at that big firm as a memory to be thankful of. Jesus, that’s just inhuman.”
Dinklie also felt extremely unsettled by the fact that you monsters will continue to make happy memories while more bodies will, in all likelihood, be buried beneath the earth during you horrible beast’s horrendous obliviousness.