A new study from a team of scientists at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln discovered some troubling new statistics for nameless, ski-masked henchmen. After months of research, the scientists have concluded that the leading cause of death for henchmen is being thrown out of helicopters by white males with short stubble during aerial hand-to-hand brawls.

Official estimates put the number of helicopter-related henchmen deaths at 300,000 a year– a statistic that puts it above even failing their masters for the last time and eating red meat.

“This is a staggering statistic, both for henchmen and the villains who employ them,” said Mike Christensen, the head researcher in charge of the project. “Hopefully our research will bring this issue to the attention of lawmakers and we can finally see some change start to happen.”

Some changes that Christensen suggested included requiring guardrails to be installed on the side of helicopters and a law making it illegal for them to fly above a safe altitude of 10 feet.

On the other side of the issue, Steel McCain, a grizzled hero out for revenge, claims the statistic has nothing to do with the inherent dangers of helicopters.

“It’s really just a convenience thing,” McCain said. “I usually throw henchmen out of helicopters since it’s easier than getting them lined up to shoot each other by ducking at just the right time.”

The DailyER reached out to one local henchman, Bernard “Buff Bernie” Azarov for his thoughts on the issue.

“I try not to think about it,” Azarov said. “I mean, henchmen die every day, whether it’s by being thrown out of a helicopter or standing too close to a fire extinguisher when it gets shot.”

Azarov, for his part, doesn’t let it trouble him too much. He tries to maintain a positive attitude in spite of the impending threat of helicopter-related death.

“None of us know when or how how it will happen,” Azarov said. “But we do know that we’re just henchmen, so realistically it won’t matter that much in the overall scheme of things.”