Halloween has always been a big deal for me, and that’s why for the first year living on my own, I wanted to go all out with decorations. Currently, I have 37 hand-carved pumpkins decorating my lawn, and about 100 paper skeletons hanging up around the house.

Now, while getting geared up for the Halloween season may sound like a good time, I do have to admit that I ran into my own fair share of snags.

For starters, I don’t think I should have spent nearly as much as I did for a copy of “Top scary Halloween haunted house tracks of 2009” on CD. That’s not to say that the CD hasn’t been used, though. I’ve made sure to play the CD on repeat both inside and outside the house at all hours. I feel this really captures the Halloween mood.

The second of which is that I replaced my head with a goddamn pumpkin, and I don’t know how to reverse it. Now, at first, I thought that it would be “really cool” if I had a scary pumpkin for a head, and that I could totally swap my head back at any point and go back to living a regular life.

This, however, seems to not be the case, because gosh damn it, try as I might I cannot switch this scary pumpkin that I’ve forced upon my original flesh head, and you better believe that I spent a lot of time trying.

I’m only just now coming to grips with the awful new reality I’m forced to live, with a rapidly decaying pumpkin for a head that only works tonally for one month. Whether I’ll live to see November is uncertain at this point, but what is certain is that switching the head you were born with for a fucking spook-o-ween lantern is not worth it.