Finally, a solution to the pothole epidemic has arrived. City officials announced this week that after receiving numerous grievances about the tire-destroying mini canyons via telephone calls, emails and online comment sections, they would actually do something about it. The plan? Fill ‘em with all the complaints. “We’re very thankful for all the griping and […] Read more
A University of Nebraska-Lincoln professor has been criticized for his remarks on a recent seminar that dealt with human trafficking. After Patricia Goldman’s captivating speech on the severity of human slavery, UNL professor Barry Watkins led the audience in a round of applause. But it didn’t last for long. Watkins praised Goldman’s talk and remarked […] Read more
Lincoln resident Tony Thompson has found his nightly post-work ritual of kicking back and watching TV a little lacking as of late. “There isn’t anything interesting on TV,” Thompson told The DailyER. “It’s all just old porn reruns now.” This recent lack of quality non-porn content on TV has got Thompson down. While he previously […] Read more
After Jeb Bush’s disappointing announcement of his campaign’s suspension, Donald Trump has been searching desperately to find a new punching bag. It seems Governor Pete Ricketts is just what Trump was looking for, following the intercept of a private e-mail from Trump to the governor. The email reads: TO: Pete Rickets babywarbucks1964@aol.com Cc: Jeb Bush […] Read more
The Nebraska State Legislature is currently a barrage of loose Benjamins and poker chips as all bets are on for a bill that could legalize gambling in the Cornhusker State. Representatives frantically tossed wads of dough and colorful gestures at each other on Thursday as the Capitol building was awash with unintelligible yelling, only punctuated […] Read more
It’s not that I think you’re a bad person. You’ve done nothing to give me that impression. But my dog doesn’t like you, so we can’t be friends. If you’re alive in 2016, you’ve undoubtedly seen a certain sentimental meme floating around Facebook along the lines of “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, […] Read more
For over a century, fans of the Nebraska Cornhuskers have proudly displayed the Huskers’ “N” logo on their clothes, cars and household appliances. But a recent announcement from departing University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Harvey Perlman has changed everything. “As my time as chancellor comes to an end, I thought it was time to let Husker […] Read more
Four weeks into the semester and sophomore student Richard Holden is at a complete loss for words. “I don’t know man,” Holden somberly exhaled while gathering his thoughts. “You see, I’m taking this meteorology course to fulfill an ACE 4 requirement, but nothing the professor does ever makes any sense.” Standing up from his chair, […] Read more
A new study from a team of scientists at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln discovered some troubling new statistics for nameless, ski-masked henchmen. After months of research, the scientists have concluded that the leading cause of death for henchmen is being thrown out of helicopters by white males with short stubble during aerial hand-to-hand brawls. Official […] Read more
Breaking the rules that he typically uses to evaluate professors at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, freshman journalism major Dave Banks decided his new photography professor is cool despite the lack of profanities carelessly tossed around in lecture. “One thing I love about college is how there aren’t any rules,” Banks said. “Professors can cuss whenever […] Read more
