After hearing the news of the Cannabis Compassion and Care Act passing to the left hand side of the Unicameral floor in the Nebraska Capitol last week, sophomore Travis Hanson sparked the idea to start a petition to gain more support for the medical marijuana bill. After eating the best breakfast he swears he has […] Read more
The ACLU has long been a voice for the voiceless in America, and in continuance with their pursuit of social justice, the organization is now turning their gaze to the often ignored issue of lactose intolerance. In a recent seminar launching their campaign Death to Dairy Defamation 2017, president Ralph Erikson openly called lactose intolerance […] Read more
1. Skip the review day Let’s be honest, the only students showing up to a review day are the ones who already know everything. Instead, use class time to catch up on sleep; you’re going to need to be well rested for this test! 2. Find your perfect study spot Having a perfect place to […] Read more
Officials were stunned last weekend when a refrigerator won the River City Marathon in Sacramento, California on Sunday. The refrigerator won the race with a time of 1:59:48, shattering the previous world record and stunning fans everywhere. “I never thought I’d see a refrigerator win a marathon,” said Joe Johnson, a spectator at the race […] Read more
President Barack Obama earlier this week vetoed a formal request from his oldest daughter Malia, 14, to go to dinner and a movie with one of her male classmates, instead electing to suspend her privilege of dating indefinitely. The official decision came merely seconds after the question was initially proposed, with the President adopting a […] Read more
Siblings Johnny and Haley Smith are reporting today that after two long years, their daddy still has not returned from his trip to heaven. After reportedly leaving in an “underground spaceship,” Haley and Johnny’s daddy has yet to make any contact with them — they are unable to confirm any possible return date. The pair […] Read more
By Barack Obama A guy shouldn’t ask for a lot in life, and I don’t think I have. Honestly. A nice gift from my wife here, the leadership of the entire free world there- it’s not much, really. I just don’t think I get enough thanks for the work I do. I mean, that […] Read more
In a completely indefensible and abhorrent act, we at The DailyER decided that instead of giving you any attempt at satire, we’d instead give you exactly what you want: lesbian sex. It is very difficult, as you might imagine, for us to actually give you “lesbian sex” to you per se, but we are here […] Read more
Following the suspension of his closest rival’s campaign, Newt Gingrich declared that he is officially “in a two-person race” for Mill Creek Middle School Student Council in Woodstock, Georgia. The beleaguered candidate, whose fund-raising efforts have flagged in the last month, was reportedly forced to ask his sister, Candice, for spending money. Records also indicate […] Read more
Council Bluffs, Iowa resident Pat Helwig, who didn’t believe that chemotherapy could cure him, died of testicular cancer yesterday, just three months after being diagnosed. Helwig, who believed that all medical approaches to life should be natural and that everything else was “pseudoscience,” stated that all he needed to do to cure his cancer was […] Read more
