Football season is progressing full steam ahead, but Taylor Martinez is interested in getting off the train.

“Why don’t we end the season now?” Martinez asked. “There’s so many good reasons to call it a year.”

The Huskers are a far from perfect at 1-1, beating Southern Miss but losing to UCLA in the first two games of the season.

“I mean, we played… well, we played football so far,” said Martinez. “Why not go out while we can? We have a chance to save ourselves from an 8-5 season and we’re just ignoring it. Do you think we can win out? Me neither.”

Martinez has made an appeal to his teammates, going so far as to threaten to lower his skill of play even farther if they decide to continue the season.

“He said he would revert back to his old throwing motion,” said running back Rex Burkhead. “We thought he was bluffing, but now he’s been tripping over everything in the locker room. I think he’s been doing it on purpose to remind us of what last season and the last game were like.”

“I’d be okay with the season ending if I can still be considered for the Heisman, I guess,” Burkhead added. “Do I need to finish any games for that?”

Coach Bo Pelini weighed in, saying he was proud of Martinez’s initiative, but insisted the season must go on.

“Believe me, no one wants this season to end more than me,” he said. “But we checked. We can’t end the season yet. It won’t count, apparently. Bunch of shit if you ask me, but you’ve got to play by the rules.”

Martinez accepted Pelini’s decision, saying it was “whatever” and that he “just thought that it’d be nice to end the pain now.”

“I mean, I’ll keep playing,” he said. “I’m not going to quit on the team, but if they change their minds, then I will definitely quit on the team.”