Wow, did I abort that position at the right time. Holy shit. The President, our Nobel Peace Prize winning president, wants to intervene in a civil war in the Middle East with our military. Good luck, Kerry.

Maybe they used chemical weapons. I have no idea. I’ve been drinking my chemical weapons on the rocks poolside every day since I left the Secretary of State post. I haven’t been paying a whole lot of attention because, well, I don’t have to anymore.

The President wants to bomb another country in the Middle East. What else is new? It’s almost expected at this point to have a president decide to launch an airstrike against a Middle Eastern nation without the backing of any of our allies. It’s almost a rite of passage at this point.

It’s an entirely different story, however, when Russia is taking the opposing side. Not only that, but Putin is the one requesting for a peaceful resolution? I say again, good luck, Kerry. You’ll need it finding a solid excuse to follow through with military intervention.

So Putin insulted the American people, claiming we weren’t “exceptional.” Just because he doesn’t legally allow anyone to be exceptional in his country doesn’t mean we have to point out American exceptionalism with a showing of force. Yada, yada, yada ulterior motives. Putin’s got ‘em. No doubt. It still goes without saying.

Is proving that our nation isn’t a bunch of pansies enough of an excuse to attack the Assad regime? Will the American public rally behind that?

Well I’ll tell you what, American public, I got your airstrike right here.
I’m just glad it’s not my problem. Obama and Kerry can suck it. Clinton 2016.