As the only content-driven journalistic publication on campus, we here at The DailyER are tasked with providing you, the students, quality news stories every month. How is this accomplished, you ask? We have strict Codes of Conduct keeping writers in line every issue, all the time, always. In order to pay tribute to those Conducting Codes, we’ve ranked our favorites below:

Code 1: Don’t ever publish content in a magazine

This is a no-brainer. We don’t have nearly the amount of advertisers to water down a 24-page issue to six stories, so why even bother?

Code 2: Cheat codes

Write good: ^,^,<.^,<,>,<,<,^
Be topical: >,^,>,>,<,<,^,<
Generate Dittmar opinion: <,<,<,<,<,<,<,<

Code 3: No editing or cleaning up language in a true interview

One of the most important parts of being a serious news publication is to never, ever, ever flub or engineer a quote.

Code 4: Never cite and/or quote UNL officials incorrectly

“If you say Tom Osborne’s name in front of a mirror three times at midnight, Huskers fans will feel they deserve more and push to fire you.” – Mike Riley

Code 5: Morse

-… . -..-. … ..- .-. . -..-. – — -..-. -.. .-. .. -. -.- -..-. -.– — ..- .-. -..-. — …- .- .-.. – .. -. . .-.-.-

Code 6: Creativity is optional and “fuck” is always a punchline

Being funny is hard. Luckily, vulgarity is the universal “get out of writer’s block free” card.

Code 7: Don’t offend target groups that might seek to remove our $0.14 per student per year funding

Hey, there’s always blame on both sides

Code 8: Binary

01100010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01110010 01101001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01001111 01110110 01100001 01101100 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100101

Code 9: The Da Vinci

Mess up any of these codes and Silas will flog the sins out of you.