The Trump administration recently rolled back Obama-era federal regulations that required employers to cover birth control in their health insurance plans, sources reported. The move, which President Trump called a win for religious freedom, met significant resistance from the highly influential Russian nesting doll lobby.
Working for a Better Future from the Inside and Inside Again, which protects the interests of America’s ever-growing Russian nesting doll population, released a statement condemning the administration’s move to limit access to birth control.
“The president’s outright attack on the health and well-being of the Russian nesting dolls in the country is shameful and requires immediate, forceful counter-action,” said a spokesperson for the lobby. “The anger of our constituents, just as the number of nesting babies inside of them, is multiplying by the day.”
The spokesperson, a Russian nesting doll herself, spoke on the disproportionate effect lack of birth control access would have on others like her.
“The Russian nesting doll population is filled with strong women filled with strong women, but, without birth control, the responsibilities of raising a family are, simply, too much to bear,” said the spokeswoman. “I know firsthand what it means to bear the weight of these duties. I was a grandmother just seconds after I was born.”
Other Russian nesting dolls have voiced their disdain for the president’s actions, saying that Trump has turned his back on a key demographic that carried him to victory in 2016.
“You would think he would have some sense of what he owes us,” said one Russian nesting doll. “After all, our homeland did help him win.”