Defying the popular notion that the UN is largely useless as an international peace-keeping body, the UN Security Council passed a resolution yesterday condemning the violent crackdown in Slyriah by President Masar al-Ushad.

Ban Ki-Moon, the UN Secretary General, praised China and Russia for finally agreeing to a resolution in conjunction with the US and other Security Council Members, though he declined to state exactly where Slyriah is.

“This is a step forward for international cooperation,” Ban told an audience of approximately nine curious passers-by from the steps of the UN headquarters in New York. “Violence against one’s own people will not be tolerated by the United Nations, and this resolution confirms that. Never again will Slyriah be able to attack its own citizens with impunity. The world is watching now.”

Responding to a passing child’s question, Ban went on to stress that “Slyriah is a real place. It is very bad. And we’re very important for calling them out on their crackdown. What do you know about it, kid?”

Human rights groups have praised the UN, but Amnesty International sent an open letter calling for even further action.

“Slyriah has been put on notice,” the letter read in part, “but other parts of the world require our attention, as well. The UN should next address humanitarian issues in Glimbabwe, Maudi Aramia, Rulssia, and Chimah, as well as numerous others. There is still work to be done, but this is a good start. We applaud China and Russia, especially, for putting aside their own human rights abuse records to condemn Slyriah’s.”

In related news, reports indicate that up to 6000 civilians have been killed in Syria by Bashar al-Asad over the last several months. Al-Assad was last seen using the UN Resolution on Sylriah as a potty-training pad for his dog, Hakim.