In America, wherever there is a demand to be met, often times a tactful and money-minded individual will take action to fill the economic void. Josh Peterson, an ambitious young business major here at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln noticed an extreme shortage of sleeves present on the T-shirts of many men and women participating in exercise activities at the Campus Recreation Center.
“My buddy and I were headed up to play some raquetball when I saw that several people had apparently either torn or cut off their sleeves. Some of the arm holes were ripped down nearly to their waistline. I figured I could help,” Peterson said.
Peterson immediately contacted one of the Campus Rec managers and proposed selling sleeves behind the main counter in various shapes and sizes. Sleeve sales began early last week, and so far profit projections have nearly doubled.
A regular weight room attendee, Hank Masterson, expressed his newly acquired passion to reassemble his entire collection of cutoffs.
“I felt like a complete douche. The only reason I had so many sleeveless shirts was because I tore them off in a drunken rage after the Vikings game last week,” said Masterson.
Most students claim this ogre-like de-evolution was caused by the desire to showcase a number of awful tattoos including crosses, prominent surnames and tribal/barbed-wire arm bands.
“I feel better with my sleeves back on. I realize that athletic shirts were made this way for a reason, and my performance on the stair stepper has only improved ever since,” said some skinny freshman chick.
Peterson plans to expand his business by offering hair style clinics at the Union for “meat-heads” who are tired of just having their fraternity brother buzz their head every two weeks.
