Your monthly look at who’s up, who’s down and who’s keeping the pace at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
- Kelsey Beyer – senior: Didn’t show up for any classes during syllabus week
- Aaron Dominguez – professor
- Phillip Malzer – graduate: Got a new job at the Ross theatre. Congrats.
- Lance Jimenez – junior
- Jordy Tshimanga – Nebrasketball player: Got a week’s vacation
- Landon Smith – sophomore: Not cold
- Purdue men’s basketball team: Spanked the ‘Skers
- Canvas – management system: Blackboard is dead. Long live the true king, King Canvas.
- Richard – junior
- Dr. Kenneth Lambert – doctor: Just got tenure.
- Michael Stuhlbarg – actor: Was in the film “Lincoln,” which is not about Lincoln, NE, but has the monologue of the year in “Call Me by Your Name,” so close enough
- Scott Frost – football coach: Hasn’t been fired yet!
- Adam Morfeld – state senator: Thank you for doing your job.
- Lou Sessions – curator for Sheldon Museum: Knows his art
- Alexander Payne – director, Omaha native: “Downsizing” flopped, but he still made “Election!”
- Snow – weather: Good month for snow.
20045. Ronnie Green – chancellor: Cancel school, then you’ll be higher
Also ranked: 24. Alex Gordon, 31. Megan Bird, 49. Frank River, 57. Luke Wasika, 66. Patrick from Anth 201, 93. Suh, 94. Tyronn Lue, 95. Sally Beeck, 96. Herbie Husker, 97. Herbie Fully Loaded, 110. Jennifer Walsh, 122. Daniel Wendy, 143. John Cook, 150. Ameer Abdullah, 165. Alexis Yenney, 170. Timothee Chalamet, 171. Armie Hammer 199. Hank Bounds, 200. Daphne Crane, 360. Jack Palmer Gell, 690. Pete “the Ripper” PRickettes, 22256. Kaitlyn Mullen
