In a shocking turn of events that have unfolded over the past week, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is getting ready to say goodbye to a few degree programs. Among the programs being cut are art history, geography and electronics engineering. However, the most surprising major program slated to get the boot soon is the undeclared major, which consists of over 1,000 students at UNL.

“We have to make decisions that are best aligned with the interests of the University and the interests of the student body,” said UNL Chancellor Ronnie Green in a press conference on Tuesday. “It’s unfortunate that we have to see these major programs go, but where else are we going to save money? We can’t demolish any more buildings right now and I already informed the Board of Regents that my monthly Panda Express spending money from the budget is off-limits. Tough decisions had to be made today.”

Chancellor Green further discussed details of the elimination of the undeclared program at UNL. Starting with the Fall 2018 semester, the University will no longer allow students to not declare a major, forcing students to pick a major right from the get-go.

“This is a load of B.S.,” said Lincoln Southwest senior John Hurdles, who will attend Nebraska in the fall. “I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I’m not gonna let some dumb college tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. I’m already wanting to drop out and I haven’t even started yet.”

Chancellor Green also laid out plans for future budget cuts and shifting of University money around to different programs. “Our goal is to keep cutting programs until we hit the budget goal. Once we hit our budget goal, we will then decide if we want to keep cutting programs or not to save even more money. My dream is to keep cutting programs until all the University money is funneled into the PGA Golf Management major program. That’s where the real investment at UNL lies.”