Stop comparing me to everything.

Yes, I am a chicken, yes I know how to type, no I am not stupid. Since I am able to communicate via DailyER correspondent Nyadet Dojiok, it’s imperative that I effectively write this as the entire world of chickens depends on it.

If there is anything worse than being force-fed vitamins and mush just to be plumped or existing only to die and be eaten, it is being compared to every form of meat to ever exist. I say this now and I hope it sticks: HUMANS, STOP COMPARING ME TO EVERYTHING. YOUR DOG DOESN’T TASTE LIKE ME, THE VICIOUS LAKE CRITTER THE ALLIGATOR DOESNT TASTE LIKE ME.

There is nothing in this world that tastes exactly like chicken other than chicken itself, and you can take that from me: an actual chicken. There is nothing more offensive than being compared to the filthy flesh of blood-hungry humans and saltwater gators. If our claim to fame is our taste than perhaps let it be just that. “Wow, there is nothing in this world that could compare to chicken and this inferior piece of meat has failed me,” is the correct thing to say — otherwise, nothing else is acceptable. Broaden your palate so that you are able to describe the taste of meat outside of a chicken-centric framework.

If this is to end right now and I will be unable to communicate to humans any longer: 1) Stop comparing us to everything and 2) stop killing us for food.