Porn Critic Sasha Sins has given the film “Black Swan” an “F” in her most recent column, due to hit stands tomorrow in the newest issue of “Hustler Magazine.” In what is arguably the harshest review of the film so far, Sins bashes the film for lack of extreme sexual content and nudity. “These Porn […] Read more
Long time “friends with benefits” Dean Welton and Sherry Rogers have each had a fairly successful record of loveless hook-ups and booty calls in the past few years. But yesterday, Welton reported that he was once again experiencing the highly volatile situation that occurs annually at this time of year — Valentine’s Day. While couples […] Read more
Alan Graison, Republican Senator from North Carolina, said he prides himself on “fighting the good fight for America.” Graison is responsible for legislation in his home state of North Carolina preventing residents from driving go-carts under the influence of methamphetamines, an issue responsible for approximately 24% of fatal accidents in North Carolina, until the bill […] Read more
Despite being granted the two week notice he had asked for, United States Vice President Joe Biden failed his state-mandated drug test for the third time in as many months. Photo illustration by Dylan Bliss. The Vice President, whose previous crimes have included petty theft, strong arm robbery, public indecency and soliciting prostitution, was ordered […] Read more
The President of the American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, Tom Sherak, announced today that the acting nominations for its most popular event, the Academy Awards, will include all actors that said “fuck you” in a passable Boston accent. The president didn’t specify what would qualify as a passable Boston accent, but it […] Read more
The founder of the Parents Television Council, L. Brent Bozell, has gone outside the world of TV this week to warn parents of his belief that the Millennium Trilogy, by the late Swedish writer Stieg Larsson, is “definitely” leading young girls to get dragon tattoos. While Bozell could not come up with any concrete evidence […] Read more
Claiming that he “doesn’t give a fuck about y’all,” Kanye West announced that “this shit is fucking ridiculous.” When asked about what exactly the “shit” was, West said that it was “champagne wishes, 30 white bitches, I mean the shit is fucking ridiculous.” So far West’s claims have been met with mostly approval from the […] Read more
Few senators were surprised on Monday when Vice President Joseph Biden showed up to the day’s session with live mallard in tow. Stepping up to the podium at the front of the Senate Chamber, Biden cleared his throat, lifted the Mariana Mallard high and made a proud announcement. Though admiring his courage in completely missing […] Read more
The head pastor of First Baptist Church of Dallas announced that he will no longer be living by the Bible after learning that Jesus, Christianity’s savior, was a Jew. This is the first time pastor Richard Dickinson has forsaken the whole Bible but he has already made headlines for his decision last year to stop […] Read more
A new report released this week is saying that the economy is not doing well right now. The author of the report, blogger and video game enthusiast Joe Nich, said the report draws its conclusions from the Department of Labor, which has all of its statistics right on its website. “I was looking up Mariska […] Read more
