Ghost of Auntie Anne haunts new Valentino’s


In the weeks since its installation, the new Valentino’s in the Nebraska Union has reportedly been the location of multiple ghost sightings and hauntings from Auntie Anne herself.

The occurrences began shortly after the popular pretzel vendor was vacated to make room for the new Valentino’s restaurant. Witnesses claim they heard soft murmuring coming from inside the location and the gentle tapping of feet.

Construction during the summer was also met with delays due to the ghost problem. Workers came in one day to find “LEAVE THIS PLACE BE TO SET MY SOUL FREE” spelled with pretzels stuck to the wall.

Other workers claim to have seen an elderly woman in a long, flowing dress floating around the dining area of the Union.

“I’m telling you, it’s Auntie Anne,” said Ed Richardson, one of the construction workers. “Saw her one night. I knew it was her. I could feel her speaking to me. Her lips weren’t moving, but I could hear her. God, I can still hear her.”

Sightings also consisted of salt unexpectedly sprinkling down from the ceiling and globs of cheese oozing from the wall.

The sightings continued as the school year began, with students complaining of finding ectoplasm on their pizza and hearing the word “shame” yelled at them repeatedly as they handed money to the cashier.

“Yeah, I’m not sure if I’m going to go back,” student Catherine Wright said. “I was just trying to eat my food when blood starting filling up in my cup and overflowing to my tray. I’m so leaving a one-star review on Yelp.”

Concerned UNL officials recently decided to quickly deal with the demon after taking the multiple reports into consideration. A vote of 6-5 was held to hire a Catholic priest, as opposed to ghostbusters, to take matters into his own hands.