KFC forced to temporarily shut down half of 900 UK stores, leaving UK residents shocked to discover they had 900 KFCs

In one of the craziest logistics disasters of recent memory, Kentucky Fried Chicken was forced to temporarily shut down over half of their 900 stores throughout the United Kingdom due to chicken shortages at restaurants. Although the crisis is now over, the news sent shock waves around the United Kingdom as no one could believe the fact that KFC had 900 stores in the UK.

“I had to do a double-take when I read the newspaper while riding the Tube today,” said London resident Algernon Hanson. “How the bloody hell does the United Kingdom have 900 KFC stores? I would believe you if you told me there were 900 Tesco’s in the UK, but 900 KFC’s? Crikey.”

“Kentucky Fried Chicken?” said Irishman Carney O’Neill. “I have never heard of such an establishment! They say there be 900 Kentucky chicken stores in the UK? Whoever made that up must be thick as a brick! If they don’t sell Guinness, that be not the place for me.”

KFC correspondents in the United States were amazed the people of the United Kingdom were not freaking out about not being able to get KFC during the shortages. “Well, golly, darn tootin’ I thought the British were gonna flip their lid when we couldn’t get them chicken,” said KFC spokeswoman Reba McEntire. “Gee willikers, if I went just a day without that sweet and savory fried chicken or those mouth-watering mashed taters, y’all better believe I be stirring up a storm, uh huh!”

Head of Franchise Development for KFC UK Paul Stokes said he’s glad the logistics crisis is over. “I just hope we can avoid this in the future,” said Stokes. “It was hard to see that half of our 900 stor- wait what?! Since when do we have 900 stores? I’m the bloody Head of Franchise Development, for Christ’s sake. This is news to me!”