President Obama Signs Controversial Diner Bill

The White House came under fire Monday during the weekly press release when documents pertaining to certain Executive expenditures revealed an abnormality on the President’s VISA account. Conservative news anchor Steve Doocy revealed the President Barack Obama spent an inordinate amount at a local Five Guys restaurant.

Photo illustration by Dylan Bliss

“As the upcoming election grows nearer, presidential candidate’s crunch-time decisions are placed under high scrutiny, and none are under more scrutiny than the incumbent president’s” said Obama campaign advisor Paul Tewes. “But this is a burger joint we’re talking about. This might be getting out of hand.”

The Washington D.C. Five Guys, a long-time favorite of the president, is frequented by Secret Service personnel who procure the tasty, yet often greasy, treat for Executive parties and late night meetings. On this instance, however, diplomats from South America were visiting 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue when Alejandro Wolff, the current US Ambassador to Chile, told President Obama that he had never been to the American burger restaurant.

“He blew his lid when he heard that,” said Amy Grant, a White House intern, “just stood straight up and walked the entire meeting into the nearest Five Guys. Men in charge of protecting the free world going to town on a heap of moderately priced burgers and fries… it was great.”

It wasn’t revealed until the documents leaked, however, that the president put the entire outing on the Presidential VISA.

“That puts the entire bill on the White House’s tab, which translates to tax payers’ tab,” quipped Doocy on his Fox News Channel program “Fox and Friends.” “The President’s disregard for the American people is inexcusable and should be rectified.”

White House representatives issued a statement declaring the administration would handle the Five Guys tab in-house and no tax payer dollars would go towards “ensuring the president satisfies his hunger with tasty, indulgent treats.”