Tom Osborne, standing outside Memorial Stadium with bullhorn in hand, offered his condolences to a shocked Husker nation. Photo illustration by Dylan Bliss. “I understand the pain you are feeling right now. I’m in shock too, my friends. I never thought this sort of wholesale destruction could occur on Memorial Stadium’s Astroturf. But we will […] Read more
Imagine trying to pitch this idea to anyone: The interactions of a mean, arrogant rat and a sweet, humble, stupid pig named Rat and Pig. They are joined by a Zebra who lives next door to a fraternity of crocodiles and are unsuccessfully trying to kill him. Photo illustration by Courtesy Photo. This is how […] Read more
Nebraska Offensive Coordinator Shawn Watson said he hopes that the zone read call is a nice little surprise for the defense in the upcoming weeks. “I know I’ve already called it 35 times per game, but seriously — what defensive coach would possibly think I’d run it again?” Watson said. “I mean, it hasn’t worked […] Read more
Exotic dancer Amber Horton, 24, has recently retired from a long career at Lincoln’s most illustrious gentlemen’s club, Shakers. Photo illustration by Dylan Bliss. Horton thoroughly explained the rocky transition from psuedo-starlet to retiree, “At this age, you have to take inventory and plan for the future. I’ve got an entire chest full of ones […] Read more
The head pastor of First Baptist Church of Dallas announced that he will no longer be living by the Bible after learning that Jesus, Christianity’s savior, was a Jew. This is the first time pastor Richard Dickinson has forsaken the whole Bible but he has already made headlines for his decision last year to stop […] Read more
Christine O’Donnell appeared to be a typical Tea Party candidate as she clinched Delaware’s Republican nomination for US Senate. But being fiscally and socially conservative, plus having a remarkable physical resemblance to Tea Party darling Sarah Palin, is not shielding O’Donnell from a wave of questions that have nothing to do with her politics. Now, […] Read more
Ten years and five albums into his career, guitarist Travis Stever thinks his band is the best they’ve ever been. It’s hard to argue with him. His band, Coheed & Cambria, have sold millions of albums. Their fifth studio album, “Year of the Black Rainbow,” was released in April to general acclaim. The concept album […] Read more
This story was originally published on October 5, 2010 Superintendent of the Omaha Westside School District, Jacquie Estee, announced Monday that the district would be implementing a wave of program and staff cuts in an effort to cope with current financial woes. Among the cut staff were Westside High School Principal Pat Hutchings’ personal masseuse, […] Read more
In the past few months, American political activists have been focusing strongly on upholding every facet of the US Constitution. This week’s shooter at the University of Texas was reportedly just a Tea Party member wielding a large hot dog gun loaded with xeroxed copies of the Bill of Rights. Absolutely every individual holding some […] Read more
