The annual release of Starbucks’ pumpkin spice latte is an event typically met with mild interest and casual curiosity. But local loser Scott Phillips is no typical man. In fact, if unconfirmed reports from sources close to Phillips are to be believed, he is an “unbelievably pathetic excuse for a man with no redeeming qualities.” […] Read more
A student turning the ripe old age of 21 is bound to develop something short of a drinking problem, but junior Seth Waylan has taken it to a new level. Seth, in this first semester, has actually been more hungover than he has been sober, a feat that has seriously taken a toll on his […] Read more
The time is now, comrades! We, the numerous, loathsome, and cowardly are in a unique position to stage the greatest revolution this square mile has ever seen. We bedbugs have had a long history of oppression. We’ve been studied in labs, hunted in places normally reserved for rest and relaxation, and even burned to death […] Read more
In news that continues to send shockwaves through the conservative-Christian community, the true gay agenda has finally been revealed. Fox News anchor Bill O’Reily first broke the story on Thursday night after the pocket organizer was discovered in the bathroom of a Los Angeles gay bar. There remains much speculation about the long rumored “Gay […] Read more
