As of Monday evening, the ASUN student government has shut down until the delegates can successfully reach a consensus on a proposed budget for their next house party. The shutdown occurred as a result of a proposal to buy a keg rather than designate the event as a B.Y.O.B. affair. “We want to give every […] Read more
Tragedy struck yesterday afternoon at Lincoln Children’s Zoo when aggravated tiger trainer Rick Parsley ferociously attacked Sasha, the zoo’s prized tigress and mother of two. The incident occurred during Sasha’s routine 3:30 p.m. feeding time, which has historically never been problematic for either keeper or cat. “It was a goddamn bloodbath!” said distraught onlooker Brett […] Read more
What should have began as a normal transaction between Daily Nebraskan newsstand and undergrad student soon became an epic battle for the fate of Seven’s soul. Steven only wanted to read the Top 5 Section on his way from the CBA to Knoll, but the weather had other plans. The wind picked up as he […] Read more
Tragedy struck the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus on Sunday as a student seemed to walk aimlessly into 14th Street. Sarah Johnson, a sophomore at UNL, had merely been strolling to her next class, with her eyes intently focused on the screen of her mobile device, before the accident occurred. “There must have been something completely […] Read more
“Don’t be fooled,” is the overarching rhetoric of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “President Obama and I are totes besties.” “He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” warns the conservative Netanyahu, clearly attempting to set himself up for the “I Fucking Told You So” award. But whom is this hummus-loving amigo prophesying? None other than the […] Read more
After a tumultuous two weeks for the United States government, a recent poll suggest most Americans are fed up with this unwanted Boehner that keeps jamming its hard head into the political scene. This Boehner was erected in an attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act, refusing to deflate until its lusty demands are met. […] Read more
Jeremie Austin has a look in his eye. He looks like he’s ready to learn. Like his brain is about to suck in everything it can and help mold his mind into a sharp tool. In reality, Austin is trying to prevent a fart from escaping. Austin’s classmates took notice of his attention, saying he […] Read more
Two freshman pledges stare into an inferno, horrified and enthralled at what they had done. The taller of the two pulls a flask out of his pocket, his hands shaking nervously as he unscrews the cap and pours the dark liquid into his mouth. He passes it to his companion, who finishes the contents in […] Read more
I tell you what, it’s starting to get a little hot in here. A little too hot. I think it’s time a muscular douchebag come along, rip off my sleeves and alleviate me of this heat. Oh yeah, that’s what I’d like. I’m tired of being just a shirt commemorating to ‘08-’09 lacrosse season. It’s […] Read more
It was a dreary weekend when living Lincoln legend, Washboard Guy, took to the streets, “O” Street in particular, to play the music he loves. And also pan for change. His spot on the “O” Street music scene is locked in, his five-gallon bucket is ready to go to the Nebraska Music Hall of Fame […] Read more
