Starting Sunday, free tickets for President Obama’s upcoming appearance at the University of Nebraska Omaha were distributed to the excitement of many.

Among the 8,000 tickets were some reserved for government officials and important UNO faculty, but there’s one glistening bald head that will not be spotted in the audience.

Governor Pete Ricketts, in a spiteful fit, announced earlier this week that he will be hosting an anti-speech at the same time as Obama’s address.

“Yes, he is the president of the United States, and I’m just the governor of one single state,” Ricketts said. “But why’s he coming now? Just because his term is almost over? If we were Iowa he’d be all over us, but no, it’s only Nebraska. It’s almost like we’re just an afterthought. ‘Oh yeah, Pete, I guess you have a state too, if you wanna show up that’d be chill,’ he probably thought. But I’m important, dammit! I’m Pete Ricketts! So I’m having my own speech during his!”

Due to a lack of planning time and a shortage of venues big enough to fit Ricketts’ ego, his anti-speech will take place in the abandoned Omaha Civic Auditorium. It is unclear whether there will be electricity, but the hot air emanating from Ricketts’ head is expected to heat the arena sufficiently.

Unlike Obama’s address on the health of the Omaha economy, Ricketts made it clear he had more important topics to discuss such as “hanging out with my real friends” and “I dunno, stuff.”