Last Tuesday, Lincoln native Chet Worthington was reported to have sat down while he urinated at a Village Inn restaurant. Mike Austen, who was in the same bathroom at the time, gave his full account of the story.

“We entered the bathroom at about the same time, and only one of the two urinals was open,” Mike said. “Being nice, I offered him to go ahead of me, but he ignored me and went right to the stall. I just thought he was going number two, so that wasn’t a big deal. I did my business, but from his stall I only heard the shower of urine into the toilet bowl and then a flush.

“I thought to myself, ‘Did this guy seriously just pee sitting down?’ He sure did.”

A man matching the description of Worthington was also seen urinating whilst sitting at the bathroom of a Burger King just three days after the Village Inn incident. This time there were three open urinals for Worthington to utilize, though he chose to sit down for his number one.

Friends cornered and confronted Worthington about his habit. Eyes darting around the room, he stammered out an explanation.

“I don’t know. It’s just more comfortable, I guess. Why stand when you can sit? Am I right?”

Worthington responded to the horrified look on this reporter’s face with a question of his own.

“Is it really that weird?”