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Dear Freshman Who Just Learned About the Cook Pavilion,

Before I came to UNL, my girlfriend and I decided that we would try a long-distance relationship. The first few weeks went well, but I’m starting to feel the strain. Do you have any advice that might help me keep the love of my life?

Sincerely,

Scared to be Single

Dear Scared,

        Wow, I just heard about the coolest thing ever. Have you ever worked out in the Cook Pavilion? I only went in there because the weight room was full and I needed to work on my cardio. To my surprise, it was hot as hell in there! Like, a million degrees! I did some research and discovered that it’s intentional! they have fans that pump in outside air to make it as hot as possible. The ultimate conditioning environment. Not only that, the Huskers used to practice in there! The Huskers. Wow.

Dear Freshman Who Just Learned About the Cook Pavilion,

        I thought I would be able to manage working a part-time job and full-time class schedule, but I’m having trouble getting enough sleep! How do I balance my work, school and social lives all while getting good sleep?

Sincerely,

Sleepy Sophomore

Dear Sleepy,

        You won’t believe this, but the university actually built the Cook Pavilion specifically so the Huskers could prepare for bowl games in the South! The athletic department saw that our boys weren’t used to the humidity and heat of southern states, and their endurance was suffering for it. Florida kept outplaying us because they were used to the heat, so we built the Pavilion to even the playing field! Next thing you know, the Huskers became the undisputed greatest college football franchise in all of history.

Dear Freshman Who Just Learned About the Cook Pavilion,

        With the holidays coming up, I’m just not sure what to do. I know my family wants to see me, but is flying cross-country back home for Thanksgiving really worth it? I mean, Christmas is right after that. Do you think my parents would be mad if I skipped Thanksgiving? Plane tickets are so expensive.

Sincerely,

Troubled Traveler

Dear Troubled,

        Did you know that Gatorade might have been called Huskerade? How sweet would that have been? I didn’t know this, but they actually invented it just for bowl games in the south. Players were passing out from dehydration, and water wasn’t doing the trick. So, Scientists invented a special formula to keep players in the game! It came down to naming it after either the Huskers or the Gators. For some reason, they chose to name it after the Gators, calling it Gatorade, which I think is total bullshit because Huskerade sounds way better.