Area Cat Indifferent

Skittles, a three year-old tabby cat owned by Lincoln resident Elisa Brent, failed to react to a number of significant events in her owner’s life.

Despite watching her owner suffer various bouts of emotional, educational, and occasionally even physical trauma, Skittles has never once acted in a way that could be construed as caring for the human that feeds, shelters, and cleans up after her.

After Brent’s emotional meltdown following her breakup with long-term boyfriend Jason Berg, Skittles failed to provide even a modicum of comfort to her owner. Instead, reports indicate that the feline merely demanded food several hours earlier than she was normally due to receive it. After a suitable period of time, in which she caused an estimated $60 dollars of damage to the carpeting, she did consent to sit on her sobbing owner’s lap.

However, the brief moment of comfort did not last. After realizing that she would not be fed anything further or given catnip, Skittles sank her claws into Brent’s thigh and jumped away, preferring to spend her time hissing at birds from the windowsill.

Skittles was unable to be reached before press time, as she was too busy peeing on freshly laundered towels to comment.