The clock strikes 8:34 on a cool Tuesday morning, fog coating the glass bathroom mirrors after a warm shower, and Steven Burmudez lay unconscious on the bathroom floor covered in a sanguine pool of his own blood.

Burmudez is close to death, but this is not the result of a violent assault or suicidal attempt, this is merely the aftermath of his new morning routine: flossing.

“It’s just part of my daily schedule now,” said a resuscitated Burmudez recovering from rapid blood loss in the Bryan LGH ICU. “Every day I wake up, exercise for 20 minutes, shower and floss my teeth until copious amounts of blood seep from my gums and down into the sink until my eyes roll white and I begin to feel the sweet release of death. After that, I usually wake up in this same hospital bed. It’s a small time commitment that ensures I’ll have healthy teeth well into my later years.”

Burmudez made a commitment to turn his life around after a visit to the dentist, his first in over 5 years. The checkup, Bermudez told the Dailyer, was a shocking and rude wakeup call.

“After a few minutes looking at my teeth the dentist told me, with this disappointed look in his eyes, that I needed to floss better,” Bermudez said. “From that moment on I decided I would floss every day, not matter how many pints of blood need to be replaced immediately afterwards.”

When questioned on whether the daily near death experiences, and subsequent hospital bills, are worth the payoff of having healthy gums, Burmudez responded with absolute confidence in his methods.

“It’s a give and take relationship, but in the end it’s totally worth it,” he said. “I’d rather bleed out from my gums and die slumped against my toilet seat than to let gingivitis take over my life. I’m in control of my life now.”