Sometimes, our relationships with our parents can be rocky at best. And sometimes, it’s endearing when some of us try to salvage something despite the years of silence or lack of love. Still, for some, it’s hopeless. In oblivious wuss Drew Whitaker’s case, there’s one obvious reason for things being not so great. “I wonder […] Read more
History was made on April 15, when Florida resident John Hemwick decided to take the plunge. That day, he swam 670 miles alone from the coast of Florida towards the Bermuda Triangle to prove its existence. On the way into it, he disappeared and never returned, showing just how real the triangle is. “We haven’t […] Read more
Students in Fred Green’s history class at Irving Middle School grew sleepy Thursday afternoon while learning one of life’s classic lessons: history is boring. That afternoon, Green thought he’d try and make a subject as dry and lame as history seem “really important” by showing a film about a boring event he claimed “impacted the […] Read more
For much of Tuesday night, the dancers at the Frisky Fling in the Sheldon Museum of Art were simply going with the motions, dancing and twirling like typical dancers. However, the night changed drastically when dancer Ricky Sanders became just a bit too daring. “I have an idea,” Sanders said to his dancing partner, Matilda […] Read more
The crafty botanical world shocked Lincoln scientists Tuesday morning as studies discovered that – wouldn’t you know? – there is a plant that waters its own goddamn self. During usual morning routines at the Lincoln Arcadia Greenhouse, with botanists having to actually water expressionless and parasitic lifeforms, Dr. Darla Springsteen found a plant that – […] Read more
Lately, politicians and citizens alike have cracked down on media sources accused of spreading false and pandering information, or “fake news.” Recently, Nebraska officials have discovered a cowardly, wretched outlet that has blatantly released fake news, and has tried defending itself. At the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, The DailyER, an insipid spreader of fake news through […] Read more
Facebook goers all around the world have been deeply moved since Friday night, when Lincoln resident Kelsey Davis posted a quote about fascism. What made Davis’ quote especially impactful was not just the quote’s words, but its powerful, cursive font. “As we try to create a beautiful melody of peace, fascism is the broken violin […] Read more
You’ve broken a lot of things in your life, you little freak. But there are still five things you haven’t totally demolished as of yet. The sound-barrier. You still haven’t moved quicker than 767 mph, thus breaking the infamous sound-barrier. It’s bound to happen eventually, but you might want to get on that sooner rather […] Read more
Students walking to class Wednesday morning stared with awe and teary expressions as local frontiersman and freshman ag-science major Rick Moon took his bicycle off-sidewalk near Love Library. “By God, what’s that insane bastard doing?” exclaimed sophomore economics major Martin Griffith, clutching his coat and watching as the pioneer bravely took his bike where no […] Read more
Lincoln residents were witness to a miraculous occurrence last week as local hermit Rodney Howard completely transformed himself with just a simple tie. Howard was once an infamous slob tumbling down a dark road without a means of escaping it. The bum was known to never seek out a job and to eat with his […] Read more
