Bass drops, rolls under refrigerator

Shit hit the fan when DJ newcomer, Joel “Icebox” Moore, was performing at the Vega last Saturday.

The evening was hip and hoppining when Moore decided to try cracking the dial up to 11 by playing his new retro dance groove, “Sandstorm Darude.” The beats were booming as the lights send the crowd into a seizure of dancing gyrations. It was a clusterfuck, and then the unimaginable happened.

The build up was building up when, out of nowhere, Moore dropped the beat and the bass rolled under his Frigidaire refrigerator.

“Look, I thought having an actual icebox on stage with me would be a good idea,” Moore said. “How was I to know things would have gone so horribly wrong?”

As Moore scrambled to find his dropped bass, he confessed to his audience the refrigerator wasn’t merely a prop. He had forgotten to eat dinner before performing and asked for a real one to be placed uncomfortably close to him so he could sneak bites from his Jimmy John’s Unwich mid-performance.

The crowd’s patience was being tested as the 28 year-old DJ scoured the stage for anything that could be used to extend his reach under the beat-banging, dark, dusty abyss that was the refrigerator’s under cave.

Grabbing a broom, Moore fought off clouds of dust as he attempted to angle the bristles to the back end of the bass to then scoot it forward. It was a time consuming process to say the least.

By the time Moore finally managed to get the bass, the mood had already been killed and Moore was being escorted off stage.

Though disappointed by the anticlimactic ending to an alright show, most attendees saw it as a step up from most talent showcased at the Vega.