Following the recent budget talks in Washington, reports have surfaced that members of the Republican Party have begun meeting in secret to discuss a plan of action for reversing the current course of the United States’ debt.

“A summit was held last Wednesday by members of the Republican party in an effort to quell the burgeoning debt,” said Ron Holt, a Republican press secretary “…and it seems like they’re on to something big.”

“We’re doing everything we can to stop the recent missteps taken by the White House in order to solve our debt problem,” announced Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich in his weekly statement. “The weekly Sunday brunch meeting of Republican minds is a time-honored tradition. And Cracker Barrel has always been our preferred spot.“

Gingrich’s air of confidence stood testament to public optimism about the Republican Party.

“Out of all the ideas that came out of the summit, this one was definitely the most popular.” continued Gingrich. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I got my Daily Deal email from Groupon. It was like a sign from God. The answer to all our problems was staring me right in the face: a $50 for $25 coupon to Cracker Barrel. Limit 4.”

“We’ve been going to Cracker Barrel for as long as I can remember” said presidential candidate Rick Santorum, “and if this is something we can do for our country, we’re prepared to do it.”

“I, myself, stick with the Broccoli Cheddar Chicken, but Bachmann over there… who knows what she’s going to get from week to week,” grunted a visibly aggravated Santorum. “She-devil.”

Efforts to purchase the Groupon were halted when the GOP Visa card defaulted and was declined by the Washington D.C. division of groupon.com. A House Committee has been established to look into the matter.