Sophomore Jennifer Daniels has made some lofty propositions in her lifetime. Daniels, like many other people, was against Donald Trump and his campaign for the White House. As a vocal opponent against Trump, Daniels was confident that society would reject his hateful rhetoric and would lose embarrassingly. She was so confident that Trump would not […] Read more
Since its opening in 2013, the Pinnacle Bank Arena has found success in the community by booking high-profile acts to perform in Lincoln. However, in a decision that can only be explained as a mistake, PBA has announced that a men’s basketball team will have to share the arena with funk rock band Red Hot […] Read more
It was Wednesday evening in Centennial A at the Nebraska Union, and junior Blake Scribner was cautiously optimistic. “I mean, I know this isn’t a football game or anything,” Scribner said. “But it’s important that we give students the option to experience local democracy in action.” The majority of the UNL student body, however, takes […] Read more
It seems that Ronnie Green has had it up to here. In a scathing email written to the entire student and faculty population at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, the chancellor admitted that he didn’t know he’d have to send so many emails to everyone. “With the recent election results and other current events going on, […] Read more
With finals week underway, students across campus are buckling down and focusing on their exams. The library is full to bursting with scholars trying to end the semester on a high note. Many students, during breaks from studying, calculate the various final grades they can receive based on their final scores. One such student is […] Read more
Students walking to class Wednesday morning stared with awe and teary expressions as local frontiersman and freshman ag-science major Rick Moon took his bicycle off-sidewalk near Love Library. “By God, what’s that insane bastard doing?” exclaimed sophomore economics major Martin Griffith, clutching his coat and watching as the pioneer bravely took his bike where no […] Read more
A student who was rushed to the hospital after not checking his phone for an entire lecture was in critical condition Tuesday, doctors reported. Witnesses in Professor Tim Barnett’s 12:30 calculus lecture said Brian Porter, a sophomore chemistry major at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, fell unconscious just minutes before the end of class. Medical tests […] Read more
Lincoln residents were witness to a miraculous occurrence last week as local hermit Rodney Howard completely transformed himself with just a simple tie. Howard was once an infamous slob tumbling down a dark road without a means of escaping it. The bum was known to never seek out a job and to eat with his […] Read more
Following a comprehensive investigation, Omaha-area dad Jeff Wilcox announced Monday that he has found the TV remote control which went missing nearly two weeks ago. “The darn thing was in between the couch cushions the whole time!” Wilcox proclaimed to his wife and children over dinner. “I swear, I must have looked in there five […] Read more
On Election Day, freshman Laurie Anderson was excited to express her political attitude for the first time. Anderson, who described herself as an “informed liberal,” was excited to vote for all of the Democratic politicians and policies on the ballot. However, while Anderson seemed knowledgeable on choices like the presidency and the death penalty, she […] Read more
