By Floyd J. McIntyre, Pathetic Loser It’s that time of year again. Lent is upon us and being the devout religious man I am, I force myself to go 40 days and nights without something in my life. That “something” is usually something I use or do every day, like drinking soda or snacking between meals. Most […] Read more
For any of you who clicked this article thinking this was some review of a sub-par Netflix series or some indie film playing at the Ross, you’re in the wrong place. This is literally just a picture of me eating popcorn. Really. I’m not joking. Today, I just decided to sit down on my couch […] Read more
If you’ve ever rented before, you know the deal: your grubby landlord is as low-maintenance as his properties. His breath smells like late fees and his demeanor is as slouched as one of your living room walls. You’ve reminded him repeatedly of the unstable foundation and constant parade of roaches, and simply want him to […] Read more
So, uhh, I’ve been laying in bed with my “Mr. Sean Hannity blow-up conservabuddy” for the past three and a half hours, and I’ve gotta say, I’m unimpressed. The instructions clearly say to lather the mouth area with a generous amount of “Foxy Lad’s butter gush super lube” (which needless to say, was not included […] Read more
Recently, The DailyER was given a special copy of the latest “Kidz Bop 34” album ahead of its release date. Let me tell you, Kidz Bop referred to this album as a special edition, and it’s special alright; a special piece of crap. First, let’s start with the vocals. Whoever thought it was a good idea to […] Read more
Hippies be damned: I don’t like them, their trees or their hugging. I hate the outside. I like buildings and I like being inside of them. Millions of years ago, dinosaurs ruled the world. They were big and couldn’t fit inside of caves. You know what could? Mammals. Mammals could. You know what happened to […] Read more
We live in an era of liability, and I expect everyone to inform me without me having to read instructions, take any personal responsibility or use any deductive reasoning of my own. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual, but damn it, why not? The University of Nebraska-Lincoln recently forced a smoking ban upon the […] Read more
This past Monday started off like any regular Monday for me. I woke up at 8 a.m., brushed my teeth, ate two bowls of Frosted Flakes and made my way to my Modern Art class. You know, the usual. I then ate six slices of pepperoni pizza at Selleck for lunch. Again, nothing unusual. After […] Read more
By Lonely Uncle Jerry For the first time in 27 years, I’m going to be alone on Valentine’s Day, and I need to vent. My wife Margaret left last summer after I was fired from my office job, and I decided to start a folk band instead of looking for a new job. It’s been […] Read more
When it comes to conversations about the abundance of wildlife at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, squirrels are always the favorite subject. Why is that? Are they really any better than, say, the birds? It’s almost as if our brains have been conditioned to favor the fuzzy brown demons over any other creature, particularly ones with […] Read more
