The following is an exclusive, possibly illegal email exchange between The DailyER, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s premier satire newspaper, and the infamous Mexican druglord El Chapo. From: The DailyER Sent: Wednesday, January 20, 2016 5:00 PM To: elchapo@cartel.com Subject: Interview request >hey —————- From: The DailyER Sent: Wednesday, January 20, 2016 5:05 PM To: […] Read more
In an unprecedented response to the current Syrian refugee crisis, multiple DailyER foreign correspondents have confirmed that the European Union has closed all entrances to the continent of Europe, with no exceptions. Faced with an influx of refugees fleeing unimaginable horrors in Syria, conservative government officials in EU member states are heralding the border closing […] Read more
Mr. Worldwide himself, otherwise known as Pitbull, announced on Twitter that he was going to change his first name to “Featuring.” “After much help and support from my family, I’ve decided that I’m going to begin performing as Featuring Pitbull,” the rapper tweeted this morning. The Artist Formerly Known as Pitbull has been known for […] Read more
Last week’s meeting between President Barack Obama and Cuban President Raul Castro signified a historic step in the American-Cuban normalization process. No longer the Cold War communist state of Fidel, Cuba’s slow march to embracing capitalist business practices has rapidly accelerated in recent years. The fears of corporate American corruption have been quelled as Obama […] Read more
Call it a sloppy, jolly Christmas. Sources are reporting that Santa Claus was spotted red-cheeked after hiding a recently stuffed stocking the bottom of the laundry hamper at his home at the Northern Pole. “He really spread some holiday spirit,” an anonymous source told the Dailyer. “But we’re still a few weeks out from Christmas, […] Read more
Kids just seem to seem to be getting older and older every year, and with that comes more children. A study carried out by Studeaze, a study research company based out of Lincoln, found that 31 children have been born in the United States since January. “We really believe the information we gather at Sudeaze […] Read more
Following years of extensive research, the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) has named the planet Earth to be the most dangerous place for children. The report cited widespread war, dangerous living conditions and a rapidly deteriorating political and social climate as the primary reasons for the ultimate conclusion. “No child should be subject to the […] Read more
Spectators swooned with delight yesterday morning on Aldersgate Street after seeing what many claimed to be ‘absolutely adorable:’ An unidentified British man wielding a baton and dedicatedly playing pretend policeman. “It’s a little odd, sure, seeing an adult with a shoddy little stick, which is probably made out of plastic, goofing off and pretending to […] Read more
The case of the missing Malaysian Airlines Boeing 777 has finally come to a close. The international mystery bordered on conspiracy after NPR reported that “at least two passports” used to board the flight were listed in its Stolen and Lost Travel documents database. Well, rest at ease, citizens of the world. Malaysian Airlines flight […] Read more
Following weeks of intense protesting, the toppling of an increasingly totalitarian regime, the overwhelming influence of a more powerful nation, and the near collapse of what remains of its economic infrastructure, the world’s governments decided to grant Ukraine honorary middle east status, the first such honor since before the September 11 attacks. Speaking on […] Read more
