The University of Nebraska prides itself on constantly making improvements, and that philosophy doesn’t just apply to academic achievement.
In a recent press release, College of Business Administration Senior Vice President Roger Sanatelli announced some big changes for his college.
“We here at CBA are very proud of our future home, and its presence on the skyline represents the growth of our college,” Sanatelli said. “As such, CBA leadership has decided that we can’t just stop there.”
Sanatelli went on to unveil a new expansion plan that will make the new College of Business Administration the tallest building on campus.
Sanatelli described the 15-story addition as “a completely innovative lesson in resource management” and outlined aspirations to open a UNL stock exchange on the top floors.
Sophomore supply chain management major Alex Kristoff mirrored the excitement.
“I heard that they were going to put in a new Runza and a TopGolf in there,” Kristoff said. “It will be like our own version of the stuff the football players get!”
Sanatelli was very forthcoming in addressing concerns over funding.
“We have secured some sponsorships from businesses that are very friendly with the college,” he said. “In exchange for millions of dollars in student labor, we have made a huge step for the future of CBA.”
Although a complete list of sponsors has not been released, companies such as Hudl, Sandhills Publishing and Union Bank have all publicly pledged their support.
However, not all students are excited about the plans.
“That new monstrosity is already sticking out like a sore thumb,” said junior sociology major Anna DeMars. “The last thing we need is another 150 feet on top of it.”
Freshman political science major Silas Gerrans was not quite as civil in his comments.
“That horrible construction site already ruins my campus experience,” Gerrans shouted. “And now those vain losers want to build an even more ridiculous shrine to themselves.”
Sanatelli was dismissive of the criticism.
“People just don’t understand. Business is permanent, and we want our college to be a permanent figure at the university.”