The Apple iOS 10 update is polarizing for a number of reasons, among them changes to iMessage and lock screen notifications. However, at the expense of bullies and mob enforcers everywhere, Apple also replaced the revolver emoji with a water gun.

“It’s complete bullshit,” stated an anonymous mob henchman. “Without that emoji, I have to find more creative ways to tell people that they’re going to need to pay up, or else.”

The henchman went on to describe a situation in which he decided to send the message with the water gun emoji, and was met with derision.

“I mean, honestly, I told the guy there was a hit on him,” the henchman said. “How can you laugh at that?”

Lincoln crime organizations are not the only ones that are suffering. Various cyber bullies find themselves in water over their heads.

“How can I scare that wimpy Mark Cavender without the guns,” asked fifth-grader Marcus Cort. “Apple is really making it hard for me to make those babies sad.”

When asked about this development, teacher Amy Jones said that she hoped the change would “encourage the children to have fun, wholesome water fights, instead of fighting with real guns.”

Although Apple CEO Tim Cook could not be reached for an interview, freshman general studies major Lizzie Armenson, who received a share of Apple stock for her 16th birthday, was happy to explain.

“You see, as an Apple shareholder, the move makes perfect sense,” Armenson said. “The company has always prided itself on being progressive and inclusive, and this is the perfect way to do that.”

Armenson went on to say that as a shareholder, she was glad to see Cook standing up to the NRA and other gun lobbies.

“All of those lobbyists just want to see us cave, at some point it wasn’t about the emoji,” Armenson said. “But I’m proud that not only did Tim stay the course, he genuinely turned the lobbyists back. He’s a man that I can trust to make my portfolio grow.”