Fratican to have communion wine pong at next party

Phi Kappa Theta, the Catholic fraternity, has been around since Jesus and the disciples realized the expense of rent and bought a house together. The chapter at UNL, often referred to as the “Fratican,” is continuing the traditions first set in stone by Jesus and Peter on that special rock. For example, the Fratican has regularly spread the word of the Lord at their parties that take place in their house behind the Newman Center. These get-togethers are known to be off-the-hook, as the Holy Spirit is always in attendance. 

Even though the Fratican is part of an ancient tradition of men loving Jesus and women kinda just being there, current UNL chapter brothers are “working to keep things interesting,” according to senior members Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. 

Most recently, the Fratican plans to celebrate the new year and the new decade with an organized communion wine pong tournament for their party tonight. Member John said, “Instead of just drinking shots of communion wine, losers must complete a penance of two ‘Our Fathers,’ one “Hail Mary,” and a ‘Glory Be.’” 

“People we’ve told are very excited for this event,” said Matthew, “especially Jesus, my best friend.” 

As for the Fratican’s track record in partying, several new events and practices were introduced to their culture just in 2019. At their St. Valentine’s party in February of last year, the priests attended the party to secretly marry Newman Center couples so that they could finally stop pretending that they’re not having sex. 

The Easter party celebrated the end of lent, so those who came sinfully indulged in what they had given up for lent. “Lol, ya, I drank so many Mountain Dew’s that I burped the entire rosary,” shared Luke. 

Just last month at their Christmas party, the Fratican stayed up all night smoking incense doobies. Mark said, “I got so high that I could tickle Jesus’ feet.” 

Catholic students all over campus have many positive, wholesome parties to look forward to and back on. The numbers converting to Catholicism have never been higher, except for when the rumor was going around that the Pope would canonize Jeffrey Epstein.