As any political analyst will tell you, party members do not win Presidential races. Although party members are essential, they are only a base, and a candidate must appeal to the independent and undecided voters if they hope to reach the magic number of 270 electoral votes. Time is running out for Barack Obama and […] Read more
Students, faculty, and Lincoln citizens met at a townhall meeting this weekend to discuss the recent increase in mischievous deeds surrounding the Lincoln Downtown area. For Rod White, director of the UNL Campus Police, the recent spike in nefarious activity is an opportune time for his staff to make a name for itself by quelling […] Read more
In a twist of events, the Great Ballentini, a local magician, picked a card for one of his illusory card games. The magic man was alone earlier in the day and decided to practice his tricks, observing that he’d “never had this type of experience before.” According to Ballentini, who usually is seen performing at […] Read more
Bachelors have been known for some foul behavior behind closed doors. One local bachelor, however, went beyond last week’s eating of the leftover frozen pizza stored between two couch cushions. Tyler Johansson, a UNL graduate student, ran out of toilet paper on Monday and resorted to the cardboard toilet paper roll to clean his rear […] Read more
Readers, The decision to endorse a candidate is not one that the DailyER takes lightly. Much discussion was had. Arguments occurred, objects were thrown, relationships suffered. The very fabric of this paper was nearly ripped apart. But we know that we have a choice, and we have influence: our dozen or so loyal readers need […] Read more
Following what was described as “a wild, swingin’ time” with women who had “honkey tonk badonkadonks,” every country singer has entered alcohol, drug, and sex rehabilitation. The evening began when every country singer consumed a low-quality beer with friends of the same gender and social class, except for the one outsider “from the big city,” […] Read more
Following the trend of introducing new characters to fit modern trends, the creators of Sesame Street have added a character with anti-Jewish sentiments to the show. Current show-runner Susan Simmons explained the changes to massed journalists, fans, and the Anti-Defamation league. Stating, “this is just how it’s going to be,” she spoke at length about […] Read more
Raccoon City, a tranquil town at an undisclosed location within the U.S., was brought to national attention earlier this month when it was nominated as one of the CIA’s Top Secret Training Facilities in “I’d Tell You, But…” Magazine. The city featured prominently in Capcom’s “Resident Evil” video game series, though its location remains undisclosed; […] Read more
So “Seven Psychopaths” is long. I know it’s under two hours, but the story is too long. There’s an hour of solid film in this beast, but director Martin McDonagh made the choice to have seven psychopaths wrapped up in it. Not one, two, or three, but seven freaking psychopaths. McDonagh then decides to waste […] Read more
Hey guys, Theodore here. Unfortunately, I’ve got a real axe to grind! Have you ever told a funny joke at a party? It’s a great feeling! Have you later happened to hear someone else tell the same joke? And they got more laughs than you? And it made that redhead laugh so hard she had […] Read more
