Students in Kyle Strait’s Philosophy 106 recitation section are more than familiar with the Teaching Assistant’s lengthy and spontaneous tangents. As a third year TA for the afternoon Philosophy & Current Issues, Strait considers the class a “playing ground of existential and metaphysical thought,” and is often critiqued for repeating concepts to an unnecessary degree. […] Read more
Courtesy Photo These days you can’t be too careful. As we’re getting closer to election time, it only takes one tiny slip up to end the campaign trail. Take me for example. A month ago I was the frontrunner for the Republican nomination. Then, a few memory lapses here and misquotes there and Santorum comes […] Read more
Truck driver Kerri Peters said she was happy with the “pretty decent” shower she took at the World’s Largest Truck Stop in Iowa last Thursday. The shower in question, which costs two dollars per use and features a complimentary clock-radio bolted to the wall, is reportedly very popular with local transport professionals. “It’s usually clean, […] Read more
Jeremy Lin, the New York Knicks point guard whose meteoric rise has gripped the nation, filed to take control of the term that has encapsulated his sudden stardom: “Linsanity.” ESPN, whose commentators use the phrase remarkably often in their flagship SportsCenter broadcast, was quick to respond. “We have received a cease and desist letter from […] Read more
UNL housing is declaring the dog search for bedbugs a “huge success” after finding nearly 20 of them, along with over 300 pounds of marijuana. The UNL housing staff decided to search the rooms without any notice to the students so as to “keep the bedbugs guessing.” Unfortunately for the students, and by total coincidence […] Read more
John Stalin, an Iowa gas station attendant and mass murderer, said he has decided to start only killing people who want to harm themselves. Stalin said that all he wants to do is murder people, he doesn’t care who, so “the only responsible thing to do is kill those who already want to stop living.” […] Read more
UNL student George Wright told his friends yesterday that he actually believes that, of the Mexican grills in Lincoln, Qdoba has better-tasting food then Chipotle. The worthless fucking idiot really believes that the chips are saltier, the tortillas fresher, and the guacamole more tasty. “It’s not that I dislike Chipotle, it’s just that if I’m […] Read more
By now it is a story known the world over: Dr. Brian L. Friedrich, President of Concordia University, decided to remind his students that they live in the most boring city on earth with a salute to Washington, D.C. on President’s Day. 2200 lives would be changed forever; the official death toll from students who […] Read more
Fringe third-party candidate Steven Downs believes the problems in America can easily be solved with one quick-fix: end all births.The Pro-Abortion candidate believes that every fetus must be aborted if we are going to “bring America back.” Downs, who proudly calls himself a liberal, says that he believes most on the left are actually pro-abortion […] Read more
Fresh-faced and newly appointed defensive coordinator John Papuchis drew curious looks from a crowded ballroom during an announcement Saturday when Cornhusker head coach Bo Pelini read the itinerary for the upcoming annual Cornhusker Football Coaches Retreat. According to sources from the incident, Papuchis “squeed with glee” when Coach Pelini included his name among the nine […] Read more
