As the University of Nebraska entered its third week of classes, freshman Paul Foster began to notice something a little strange. Foster’s roommate, fellow freshman and Education major James Orrin, set off for class, once again, without showering. “I thought maybe he had a long weekend, and just didn’t have the energy to do it […] Read more
Fans of the Nebraska Cornhuskers congregated outside Memorial Stadium late Sunday evening for what was the first day of a long candlelight vigil in memory of the victims of the Husker’s 40-7 victory. Following the athletic slaughter, seventeen visiting fans from the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga Mockingbirds were rushed to the hospital with embarrassment-related injuries. None […] Read more
For the budding youth at Camp Weehawken, Iowa’s longest running young-adult oriented summer camp, awkwardness is not a new concept. Counselors are prepared by the staff to anticipate strange situations and are equipped with the emotional tools to help their growing campers. But no one could have expected the events following last weekend’s All Night […] Read more
I am writing to assuage any fears you may have, as residents of a great state, about the Keystone XL Pipeline my company plans to install a few years hence. I would like to assure you, from the bottom of my heart, that I and my team of TransCanada colleagues are scientists; the aquifer fish […] Read more
It has been a tough year for Toyota. On Monday, CEO Akita Toyoda announced the latest in a series of embarrassing recalls for the auto company, offering his apologies to the public. “I am afraid I must tell you that the 2011-model Japanese Prime Minister, known by the popular name ‘Naoto Kan,’ is under recall,” […] Read more
With a childlike enthusiasm and glee that can light up a room, Vice President Joe Biden is beloved by people all over the nation. After calling for a press conference late Monday evening, a nervous Biden stepped up to the podium. After a furtive glance over his shoulder, the visibly perspiring Biden swallowed. Then, in […] Read more
ames Dixon is a man who is driven by an insatiable desire to make the world a better place. Even after a tragic accident that took both his hands, Dixon refuses to surrender. “When I was young, my parents were killed by a hitman, who turned out to be linked to a drug cartel, who […] Read more
Disaster struck the Arts & Sciences quad Sunday when a hoard of locusts attacked the area following the Board of Regents approval of ‘Employee +1 Benefits,’ a program that allows faculty to expand their insurance to a “plus one” or another person who will also be covered under their university provided health insurance. The policy, […] Read more
Following a slow presentation from the Republican party during the beginning of election season, it was reported that due to an error in the GOP’s nomination process, current president Barack Obama would in fact be automatically re-elected to the position of President of the United States of America. “The error occurred when, of the rumored […] Read more
After long deliberations about the University of Nebraska at Lincoln’s current budget, the school’s Board of Regents reached a finalized proposal earlier this week. The proposal, which includes deep cuts to several of UNL’s academic programs and non-tenured staff positions, has been met with some controversy. In response to some of the concerns raised […] Read more
