He is back at it again. We all know him, and we wish we did not know him. Many sources spot this kid continuously raving about George Lucas’s pop-culture phenomenon known as “Star Wars.” I mean, seriously. This kid is known for wearing the same Princess Leia shirt every time he is spotted. Many sources say that he does not wash that shirt, which would explain the abundance of questionable stains on it. We reached out to a local comic bookstore in Lincoln, and one of their employees had this to say:

“Do NOT approach him. If you mistakenly engage in a conversation with him, be prepared. It’s mentally draining. He will go over the entire plot of Star Wars with you, constantly quoting the films and going into depth with the lore. On top of that, he continuously brings up “prequel memes” – I think it’s some sort of Reddit internet thing? C’mon, I barely know what that is. I get paid minimum wage to organize comic books all day, I don’t have time for some foul-smelling kid to word-vomit the entire Star Wars anthology to me. I’m tired. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.”

This kid has endurance. He will talk about Star Wars whether you like it or not. Legend says the longest conversation he had with someone was nearly nine hours. The person he was talking to finally snapped, and physically attacked the Star Wars kid. You would think the kid would realize that maybe he shouldn’t make Star Wars his personality, right? Well, the kid doesn’t think so. According to witnesses, the kid got right back up and said, “if you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”

Many say that he is still roaming around and talking to anyone he can about Star Wars. So, if you see him, walk the other way, or else you will wish you were in a galaxy far, far away.