These days you can’t be too careful. As we’re getting closer to election time, it only takes one tiny slip up to end the campaign trail. Take me for example. A month ago I was the frontrunner for the Republican nomination. Then, a few memory lapses here and misquotes there and Santorum comes from behind with all this shoot-from-the-hip, edgy “charisma.”

What we aren’t seeing, though, is any more from old Newt-y. This guy badgers constituents into Santorum’s camp one day and misguidedly and absentmindedly fumbles a key issue to me the next. Not unlike a certain female Vice Presidential candidate we’re all so incredibly fond of. I’ve seen these guys hundreds of times before. Where I’m from – the lakey lakeiness of Michigan – it takes a strong man to take all the flak. And Newt was never that guy.

People thought Newt had a good shot in the beginning, but guess what? Looks like not sticking to your woman and having a face like a satanic man-baby doesn’t end you up in the winner’s circle. When there’s a deficit that needs dealing with, you need a handsome, rugged man from the Northeast via Michigan, my hometown, to get things done.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s no cake walk over here on my end. “Mitt, why are you such an everyman” they say, “Mitt, how do you so easily appeal to both Middle America and the Private Sector” they say. And I’m running out of answers to all of these hard-hitting questions. You know the old saying though, it’s lonely at the top. Santorum may be ahead now, but don’t you worry about ole Mitt.

As they would always say in “the parts” of Michigan that I hail from, Romney ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’ll be slow-burning my way back to the top before you know it.